Grown up?

"Hello, Snotface! Yuck! What happened to you? Look at you. You're all older. You're even uglier. Uch. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to be sick all over you immediately. Lie down."
Drop Dead Fred

I've always promised myself that I was never ever going to grow up. It goes against everything I believe in. Fred could only be your friend if you never grew up, you can only see Santa Claus and the Polar Express if you promise to never grow up. You can only believe in the magic of Disney World if you never ever grow up. I always want to be able to love everyone the way kids can. I want to be able to look at you with an open mind and just love without asking any questions.
But lately it seems that even I am desiring to be a grown up. I just don't care if I'm out watching people have a dance party til 2 am anymore. It's not that I don't love the people that are there and want to want to be there...the fact of the matter is that I just really would rather be not there. Ha, it's weird because it's almost as if I find myself craving a quieter existence. And I feel like that is not me...I am having such a hard time thinking through what grown up Kristi looks like. Ugh, Fred would be so disappointed. But I guess I don't live to be peter pan forever. I don't serve an imaginary friend in a movie... I serve God. And part of me thinks that if I have this weird need to grow up a little, that maybe it doesn't mean that I won't cry at Disney World fireworks, and gasp the first time I see Santa's in the mall every year. Maybe it just means that I will grow up and still love things the way I always have, but for the Lord and however He sees that fit. Gah, my life seems so simple to me this year...but I often find myself feeling confused!