Identity Crisis?

So, I am spending some time at home this summer and therefore today I was cleaning out my closet. Something that I have been convicted by is that I have not given anything away in five years. Holy cow....most of my friends have even had to switch rooms so a lot of their stuff was thrown away a long time ago. Well, as the youngest child I have been allowed to keep my room exactly the same for years. It's been so long since I've actually lived here for an extended period of time, I haven't cared what anything looked like. I actually loved coming home and walking into a time warp. However as memories became more and more now I was not only trying to hold on to high school but all of college as well. Mind you...this is ALOT to try to hold onto tightly and never let go.

Surprisingly today (after mowing our lawn backwards because I threw the mower into reverse on accident and couldn't figure out how to fix it...but thats another story) I actually started to throw things away. Holy stinkin moly. I threw things away! Im pretty amazed! It was pretty comical and there are a couple of things that Im still working on parting with but I just wanted to let anyone who reads this in on some of the silly things I was holding on to for dear life.

1) Pretty much my entire senior year of high school. Notebooks, doodles, letters, softball signs, ppl made me, movie ticket stubs, momentos from places I went with people I loved. Basically...a big chunk of my identity. I was LOVED in highschool. I LOVED being reminded of that by things that I kept. I wanted any one to be able to walk into my room at any time and no that I was a pretty cool kid once upon a time.

2) On my 19th birthday the greenes each gave me a different thing of flowers. Therefore I kept a box full of dead flowers. Craziness.

3) My last at bat on my homefield at lavergne high school I hit a foul tip. Well, that foul tip flew up and hit part of the fence and that part fell off. I asked my dad to grab that part of the fence and keep it for me and he did...I also kept the ball, or maybe i got the game ball...i dont know. Anywho...i still have all of this. Along with bat bags, old uniforms, practice jerseys from middle school, like 10 varsity letters. All of this to make sure that I never lose Kristi the athelete. God forbid. haha, my goodness I wasnt even that great of an athelete, oh well.

4) One day Paige and I played under her willow tree like fairies or something. Im sure I was 16 or 17 and we made this ring of flowers to wear as a crown. I still have the blessed crown. Once again, so I know that I'll always be Kristi who believes in being a Princess.

5) Presents/letters/flowers from boys. Good gracious, I don't even wanna think about it. I suppose this speaks to the idea that boys love me? That I had power over random ones at random times in order to make them go out of their way and buy little ole me a gift. I crave this power. I don't understand myself.

6)Pictures with random girls I don't even talk to anymore. This speaks to my power disease again. More like a "see how popular I was once apon a time" Overwhelming.

Oh man, it's really no wonder that I'm pretty much stuck in this area of my life. Im still holding on to memories and things from 5 years ago. I can't possibly move forward in life while still holding on to all this crap. Without all of this I am still just a person saved by grace and through THAT is where my identity is. Holy wow...I am nothing without that, I don't know who I've been kidding...certainly not any of you right? haha...kidding. again. ugh. oh well. haha.