Change: to become altered or modified

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." Anais Nin


I looked through the thesaurus to find a beautiful synonym for the word to change to use in my heading. Not to my surprise, there aren't any. That's when I knew, I could change the word, the sound and the look but underneath it was the same meaning. Change is change...and there is no way of getting around it. That's why I simply settled for the definition. I love words and usually understanding what they really mean makes everything so much better for me. However, nothing makes this one better. I spit on the word change. I make a throw up noise in my head every time I hear it. And I know Im whining and being annoying but thats the best part about blogs...y'all don't have to listen you can simply stop reading. : )

We are packing up the gables 3_3. Nobody ever asked me if this is what I wanted. Haha, I am being so annoying but I literally am terrified when things change and I fight it tooth and nail the entire way. It's typically a knock down drag out fight. Me and change have gone many, many rounds. It always wins. Gah, one thing I hate worse than changing is losing.

And I know that I have it pretty dang good. Many people would look at me and say what is changing?! I am aware that this is a pretty small change. But I hate it none the less. I am just scared is all that it boils down to. But, for now...I am done being super annoying. I am going to pay tribute to my apartment and all 4 roommates that have existed there. Even though I didn't always necessarily think so...that apartment was good to us.

Rachel Smith is a interesting human. Some of my favorite Rachel Smith memories that make me laugh the most happened when she didn't even know she was being funny....as well all know we spent a great deal of our time fighting :) So anywho, one day Rachel was mad at me(surprise?) it was a dish issue(surprise again?) so Rachel decided that she would get me back by hand washing the dishes and not putting them in the dishwasher. And there were a lot of dishes. So after washing them she realizes she needed a place to dry them so she lined towels in front of my door and laid all of the dishes on the towels! Ha, that was amazing to come home to a zillion dishes in the hallway. Rachel used to always dance in the kitchen to Fergalicious and she had those moments when she would pretend she was "working on her fitness" there was also the day that before I had even gotten out of the shower she had decided that she was mad at me, so i walked out the bathroom door and she chewed me out. Everything was so dramatic and stressful then but it all seems so funny now. But all in all, Rachel was a good girl and she loved and served Jesus with all of her heart...she was also always there if you needed to lie in her bed and cry.

Angel Riley is somewhat of a weenie. Now, that we have that out there I think my next story will make more sense. Angel will pass out at the drop of a hat. One morning she woke up and didn't feel good so she was on her way to get a glass of orange juice so it would help her. Well...on the way she passes out and crashes into the TV knocking it off the stand and knocking a pot down in the process and I'm pretty sure she knocked several more things over. The next morning we woke up and were surprised by what had gone on throughout the night.
Angel was the teacher/mom of the apartment always light years more grown up in her heart than the rest of us. She was the nurturer and the one with actual boy experience to dish out. She was a good kid, and I'm glad God gave her to me for a couple of years.

Laura Hawkins is ... lets see.... well, there aren't many words that describe laura to be honest. We spent most of our time wondering where the heck she was. I think the thing that I appreciated most is that Laura is so "girly". I LOVE this about Laura! She would be the first one to offer to punch a boy in the face or key a guys car for you. Laura Hawkins should have been a spice girl so she could talk about girl power a lot. In the same sense, you could always count on her to watch a sappy movie with you or dream about love...or talk about a boy. And no matter how illogical you were being Laura would never judge you or make you feel dumb...she is always there to simply sit and dream with you! She is the most supportive friend a girl could ask for, I am so thankful that she lived no more than a few feet from me for a year!

Natzart Riley is... gah, she is just one of my favorite people! And I love talking about how much I love her because it's not that she is exactly like me and we think the same ways about things, its not that we just clicked right off the bat, its not even that we completely understand each other all the time. It's the fact that there were times when we didn't get it at all and we had no idea why the other one of us acted the way they did. Its the fact that I came to college to grow in the Lord and God stuck me with a girl who didn't give any slack and told you when you were doing something that she disagreed with. It's the fact that she has listened patiently to my over dramatic stories and watched me talk about who I was going to fight and seen me sob over something stupid...for three whole years. We've dreamed and cried and had our hearts broken...we've both been vulnerable with each other when that's not something that easy for either one of us to do. We didn't meet until we were 18 years old, but in a way we grew up together. Don't get me wrong, she's hilarious and there are many stories to be shared...but I've already written too much so I'll just say that Nat was the only one to be involved in a drive by shooting while living at the Gables.

So now my dramatic-12-year-old-girl heart bids farewell to the place that had fireworks thrown at the door, and massive people who fell a lot living upstairs as well as baseball players with endless parties, to the place that people would follow you to the door but never quite attack you, to the place that held at times the most versatile group of males the world has ever seen, but more than anything I'm saying good-bye to a place that has kept me cold(i hate being warm ya know) and demanded that i live in genuine community with other girls. And in that genuine community I have grown more than I can even tell at this point. I've also gotten to watch other people grown. I'm overwhelmingly sentimental. Goodbye, apartment 3_3...you will be sorely missed.